Today my blog will be about adults listening to children more often. What makes me want to talk about this right now is that there was an incident in my fashion design class where a student threw an eraser at my eye. I then replied with great anger “I’m not a dog, I don’t fetch things.” My fashion design teacher yelled at me saying that I can’t say that. She was accusing me of being the bully to the other girl. I tried to explain to my teacher that she threw something at me but I was cut off. I walked out at the end of the class furious telling myself that I should never go back to that program again.
This was a pretty bad situation but not the worst.
At the charter school my mother took me out of, one administrator, for example regularly believed the class bully over some of the best students. The bully knew how to manipulate teachers and make them believe her. On the particular day I’m talking about, it was early in the school year and my friends and I were having our daily cheerleading practice. The bully goes over to the administrator Ms. Davidson and tells her that our cheerleading is inappropriate and that we were talking about her. That was all a lie. We tried to tell Ms. Davidson that she was wrong, but she didn’t believe us. She made me and my friends do a pyramid on the concrete as punishment. We were all wearing shorts or skirts so it was really embarrassing and it really hurt girls who were on the bottom row. More than a year later some of us were talking about how badly we were hurt by that incident and only then did we find out from my mom and my friend’s mom that what that woman was actually abuse. We started talking about how important it was for children to talk to and be heard by adults. In my house, sometimes my mom yells at me for something I didn’t do, but she always says I’m sorry when she listens to me and realizes she was wrong. So the outcome is that I always feel like I can always talk to my mom and I can always talk in my house. I would like to feel that everywhere.
To every adult who is reading this, please listen to every child. If it is a situation about choosing who’s right, listen to ALL the information before you judge!
To every child who is reading this, don’t be shy to tell someone, because you have a voice that everyone wants to hear.
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I couldn't agree more.
ReplyDeleteA lot of adults have a pretty low opinion about youth. They often think you are up to no good and don't trust you. Or that they always know what is best for you. Your experience with the teacher making you do the pyramid is a good example of this.
If adults don't listen to you, or trust you, then they don't really care about you. Your teacher probably thought she was "teaching you a lesson" by making you do that pyramid, but she didn't care about you personally. She couldn't really put herself in your place and see the situation through your eyes and realize the harm she was doing. When you get old you often forget what it was like to be young. You are fortunate to have a mother who listens to you and sticks up for you.
Like many other groups have been in society, young people, as a class, are not listened to, respected, or seen as equal persons. This is a far bigger problem than anyone realizes. My organization is working to fix this. If you are interested, definitely check us out:
http://www.youthrights.org
-Alex Koroknay-Palicz
Nisa,
ReplyDeleteWhat a great posting and you bring up some very important issues. I hope adults listen to you and help young people like yourself get heard.
Nisa
I really appreciated hearing your pespective on this Nisa. I often have similar experiences in my home with my 9 year old. Sometimes us parents think we have all the information and make judgments that are wrong. But I, like your mother, always make sure I apologize to my daughter when I have been wrong. I want her to know that part of being a grown up is being accountable for when you are wrong. It is so important to me, becasue when I was a kid, It was not like that in my house and often I felt injustice at home. So I am glad to hear that you feel you have a place where you are heard. I believe that will help you go out in the world and find other spaces for yourself, just like home. Love your blog!
ReplyDeleteNisa, thank you so much for this blog. I will make it my business to slow down and allow my 6 year old nephew to explain himself to me. I want him to always feel that he can talk to his Auntie.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the great work sweetie. We need more young sisters like yourself.
Nisa,
ReplyDeleteI am very proud of this blog's subject. I especially liked that you feel you can speak to your mother and she will LISTEN! I work very hard to have this kind of relationship with my 14 year old daughter and so far, so good! Even when she's talking about some subject that makes me want to cringe inside, I appreciate that she feels that she can speak with me about it. I'm now fostering that relationship with my neice.
The next time an adult doesn't listen to your truth, have another adult intervene on your behalf. Very proud of this blog. Keep it up!
You are so right about many adults not showing children a sufficient amount of respect. Many adults don't believe they can learn something from a child. That arrogant & ignorant opinion keeps them from realizing that there is a lot of wisdom and truth that comes from kids who haven't learned to filter things the way many adults do. The old saying about "from the mouth of babes" had to do with how much truth there is in things children say. As an extremely bright young lady, you are doing a great job advocating for other children who don't have the confidence or freedom to speak as you do. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Uncle Warren